The biggest problem we all face is that we perceive each of
our fears as unique to each other and unique to ourselves.
Whether someone leaves us through divorce or someone
close to us loses a job, if our child or loved one is seriously
ill and may die, if our politician’s choices are causing us
distress, or if our bodies are failing us as we age, each fear
appears so different from the others. What we usually fail
to see is that there’s an underlying commonality in each
and every fear we have. In actuality, the one recurring and
seemingly real fear we face is the fear of separation from
something, someone, or some condition.
Could it possibly be that simple? Think about it. If your
relationship has come apart, your main fear is the fear of
the loss and separation from that person. If you are worried
about losing your job, the underlying feeling is stressing
over the possible separation from your lifestyle and
financial security. If your child or a loved one is seriously
ill, the fear is the possible separation from that person
The politics in today’s world are often absolutely insane,
filled with destroying other people, being angry with
those whose opinions are the opposite of ours, making
judgments about everyone who is different, and becoming
interested only in our own power. Politicians behaving
badly makes us feel anxious, fearful, and separate from
the organizing systems of government that affect our daily
lives. This represents separation on steroids.
When our bodies begin to age and decrease in
possibilities, we are most often very fearful about not being
who we were before age or declining health set in—we are
fearful of the loss and separation from our earlier self.
Every one of the above emotions seems different from
the others, but they are really pretty much the same when
we consider them all together. They are all part of the
feelings of loss and the fear of separation.
The good news is that instead of reeling from how to
solve one problem and then the next, we can ask ourselves
one simple yet profound question the next time we’re
experiencing a negative emotion: Who or what am I now
feeling fearful of being separate from? Understanding the
basis of the underlying problem as the fear of separation
ultimately helps bring us closer to the original point of
separation, which is separation from our Source.
We feel separate from our Source because we are
tempted to follow the plans of our fearful egos. The
ego’s plan is to be unhappy, confused, and in conflict, to
sabotage our relationships or other life situations, and to be
born only to die. As a result, we seek but never find what
we are looking for.
When we feel disconnected or separate from our Source,
that feeling is most often projected outward onto many
of our relationships and situations. Once we heal that
relationship with Source, all other feelings of separation
diminish and dissolve.
When we forgive the world and forgive ourselves, we
begin to experience oneness with each other. We no longer
see our bodies as separate or as the true reality. What is
true is that our True Self is always connected with and a
part of its Source, and where the loving Source is, fear is
nowhere to be found.
Examining how our attitudes determine our experiences
ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING
GERALD JAMPOLSKY, M.D., AND
DIANE CIRINCIONE-JAMPOLSKY, PH.D.,
ARE THE FOUNDERS OF ATTITUDINAL
HEALING INTERNATIONAL. TOGETHER AND
SEPARATELY, THEY’VE AUTHORED 16 BOOKS.
Recognizing Our Real Fear
THE EGO’S PLAN IS TO
BE UNHAPPY, CONFUSED,
AND IN CONFLICT …
AS A RESULT, WE SEEK
BUT NEVER FIND …