Assume right now,
regardless of how you
feel about it, that there is
a divine plan of good at
work in your life. As you
assume this attitude of
mind and heart, you will
feel God moving through
you in wonderful, at
times, mysterious ways,
to bring about the best
solution to your problems,
the most helpful answers
to your questions, and the
most beneficial results
for all concerned.
—Mary L. Kupferle, God Will See You Through
(Unity Books, 1983)
We were yelling at one another again, our voices echoing
against the sparsely decorated hallway of my San Francisco
Bay Area home. My boyfriend at the time was an entire
foot taller than me, but this did not deter me. It merely
inspired me to raise my voice to match his height.
I cannot remember what that argument, 10 years ago,
was about. After all, I had been a bit of a hothead since
childhood—fiery arguments were the norm. I was a
particularly skilled flamethrower.
When I was a teenager, my mother saw my dragon-fire
spirit and sharpness of tongue as an asset. At minimum,
she recognized that this quality could be productively
channeled. I suppose this is why she suggested that I enroll
in law school. After all, if I was going to be armored and
keep battling, she thought, I might as well make a proper
living out of it.
So I did. As an attorney, I was amply paid to fight with
words—to argue any side of a coin or even the edge of it, if
need be. Little did I realize, however, that whether at home
or work, even in the debates that I won, I never failed to
We tend to think that our conflicts are with specific
people or situations. In truth all of our conflict is with God.
Fighting reality is not only a losing battle, but also each
time we take a positional stance and declare the wrongness
of any person or situation, we separate ourselves from the
unity and perfection of all life. We cut ourselves off from
the flow of universal good.
Understanding this for the past decade, I have practiced
raising my voice less and lifting my consciousness more.
The blessing has been that I recognize the face of Spirit in
every conflict or challenge and thereby trust that whatever
is happening is truly in the highest good.
My husband and I have recently agreed to divorce. We
practice ministry together and so both our work and our
community will be deeply impacted. Each day, my ego tries
to assert opinions about this relating to polarized notions
of success and failure, rightness and wrongness. When I
relax my mind and silence my stories, however, there is a
deeper truth I perceive: Every event and relationship is for
blessing. Everything that unfolds is part of the divine plan
of good. Every resource we ever need is abundantly given.
More and more, through prayer and meditation, I am
losing the will to fight in favor of a steady willingness to
trust everything—what was, what is, and what is yet to be.
The more I release my contentious stance toward life and
surrender every separating thought, the more the gifts of
peace, love, and well-being win me over. Thus, with every
egoic loss, I experience yet another joyous spiritual gain. I
cannot help but laugh at how there was a day when I was
very well-paid to fight and to win. Yet today, I feel more
than happy to “lose.”
43 43 Unity teachings then and now
Feeling Happy to Lose
CLASSIC AND CONTEMPORARY VIEW
REV. NHIEN VUONG, J.D., IS A FORMER
ATTORNEY AND MEDIATOR WHO CURRENTLY
SERVES ON THE MINISTERIAL TEAM AT
UNITY TEMPLE ON THE PLAZA IN KANSAS
CITY, MISSOURI. VUONG LEADS A WEEKLY
INTERSPIRITUAL SERVICE CALLED U-NITE
AND REGULARLY TEACHES CLASSES ON
PRAYER, MEDITATION, AND THE ENNEAGRAM.
SHE IS A REGULAR CONTRIBUTOR TO DAILY WORD AND UNITY
MAGAZINE. VISIT UNITYTEMPLE.COM.
WE TEND TO THINK
THAT OUR CONFLICTS
ARE WITH SPECIFIC
PEOPLE OR SITUATIONS.
IN TRUTH ALL OF OUR
CONFLICT IS WITH GOD.