I’m just going to take the next step
because this is giving me energy.
I slowly began to make the shift
from being a gladiator to being more
of a chalice. Instead of grabbing ahold
of a business idea or setting a new
goal, I decided I was going to allow
myself to gently surrender to life and
see what fed me. And if something
did, I would take the next step. I
wouldn’t make a global decision to
get myself into anything deep. I still
don’t do that. I just tiptoe through my
life because I want to be available to
what the universe is bringing me in
the moment. Being honest about what
feels aligned with the most authentic
parts of who we are can prepare us for
a really kick-ass second half of life.
KK: That’s not a decision that comes to
us naturally in our youth. It’s best
done with a little more perspective.
CR: You need a lot of experience
under your belt, yes. Midlife is really
about self-care and pulling inward.
Women have menopause. Men have
andropause. Some people will take
sabbaticals during this time, and
others will downshift into a less
stressful job that requires less of them
for a while so they can actually be
present to this stage.
KK: Is more courage needed now
because of the crazy state the world
CR: I’ve read books from the 1800s
that talk about the dire circumstances
of the day. The details are always
different, but the human experience
feels challenging every step of the way.
I think the greatest amount of courage
that’s needed right now is to support
the demise of the patriarchal system,
which clearly doesn’t work. We’re
experiencing the breakdown of that
system now. Commitment to our inner
life is crucial, as is having the courage
to not be seen by the external world for
a while as we turn our vision inward.
When you care more about yourself as
a soul than you do your career, your
social media status, or your reputation,
you can’t then help but care more
about the state of the world and the
state of humanity.
KK: What sort of advanced spiritual
tools or practices do you rely on to
CR: Sometimes the most advanced
tools are the simplest—like
meditating. Go sit someplace where
you will be uninterrupted and set an
alarm for 10 minutes; train yourself
to be the master of your own mind.
Don’t let yourself get up. If you do
this every day for two weeks, it will
radically change your experience of
the world and that will dramatically
change your life.
KK: Do you do a particular type of
CR: Nothing fancy. Ten minutes
focused on a word, and often I
don’t even use a word anymore.
I’ve been practicing consistently for
the past three years, and now I use
this practice whenever I’m feeling
overwhelmed or irritable. I sit down
and set an alarm for 10 minutes. It
works every single time.
KK: So the overwhelm and the
irritability is just your soul’s way of
getting your attention?
CR: There you go. I like that. I also
use journaling as a spiritual tool.
Many people are intimidated by
journaling, but it can be as simple
as making lists of what matters, or
taking photographs. I spent one whole
year on journaling about pleasure.
Every night before I went to bed, I
wrote down five things that brought
me pleasure that day, like staring at a
beautiful rose in full bloom, watching
a tree sway in the wind, taking a hot
bath with essential oils, using a new
face moisturizer that smells awesome,
holding hands with my husband
while walking to dinner, playing with
my cat—whatever it might be. That
became my spiritual practice, really
capturing those moments of pleasure
and seeing them as food for the
soul. The soul loves pleasure! The
soul is here to experience life fully and
deeply, not to conquer it.
Every night, I journal on Instagram
(my username is CoachOnCall). I
post a picture and I list five things
I’m grateful for. I invite my followers
to post their gratitude lists too. It’s
beautiful. Not only am I fed by what
I’m grateful for, but I am also fed by
what other people are grateful for. I do
that sometimes on Facebook as well.
KK: I love that practice!
CR: You could keep any kind of list—
the five ways I was patient today or
five signs of beauty I noticed. I like
to think of myself as a curator of
beauty. Every now and then, I’ll post
something beautiful on Instagram,
which brings me to another fun
spiritual tool: taking photographs of
things that touch your soul.
I took the most amazing picture of a
hummingbird drinking from a flower
in my garden, and that nourished
THE SOUL LOVES
SOUL IS HERE
LIFE FULLY AND
DEEPLY, NOT TO